In Pursuit of a Curl Pattern: Coping skills

Hi Folks!  Kiki is back with another update!  She has not fired up the blow dryer of flat iron despite second guessing her curly journey and not knowing what to do with her hair. 

 

Let's see what she's up to this week!  Here is Kiki in her own words:

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Whew,  what's going to happen today?  

 

Will I succumb to temptation and keep straightening my hair?  Do I keep doing what has worked and what will end this journey of suspense?   LOL!   What are my options?  Go back to using heat so I can do something with my hair OR find someone to braid my hair again.   At this time, I am willing to do both but I am resolved to fight for my curl pattern until I succeed or am defeated.  I admit, I don't mind being defeated, but I will try to continue with this journey. 

 

It is Friday at 9am and if I am not going to use heat, the only place I can go is the infamous African Braiding shop near my house.  I hate to give my money to this shop.  They are so trifling but that's another story on another day, another blog.

 

This is what I decided to do:

 

Kinky twists

Kinky twists

 

Well, well well! Who is that and where has she been?  Is this the "me"  that, after having decades of long hair, made a very serious declaration to no longer have hair that passes my shoulders????  WHAT?!  Yep!  Who would have known that on Day 25, Kenya  would return.  Her husband sure did not see that one coming.   Look at his face... Happy, Happy, Happy .   

 

Happy Husband

 

 He keeps staring at me.  Stalker!   I don't have the heart to tell him that it is so temporary, I still don't want long hair and it's not mine.  LOL!    Enjoy it James! 

 

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Wow Kiki!!! You are STILL holding strong and I love it!! I'm also glad that the hubby is happy....even if it's only temporary!

 

Kiki is finding ways to cope and is determined to get her curls back.  Transitioning can be tough....but the end result is SO worth it.  Keep it up! 

 

Peace and blessings!

 

In Pursuit of a Curl Pattern: Kiki's Heat Break

Hi Folks! Kiki is back! 
 
Let's get an update on her curl pattern pursuit.  Here is Kiki in her own words......

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Ok, so it's only Day 24 and I am 6 days early in taking the "boy" braids down.  I am doing some serious thinking.  As I am removing the braids, it is obvious that my hair is not long enough for a wet set.  It is still hot where I live and my straight - or damaged, as they say -  hair will not hold a curl.  I don't think that my planned wet set is an option right now.  Am I taking these boy braids out too soon?   TOO LATE!  Why didn't I just wait until 30 days like I planned?  Because I am impatient on this DARN journey that my sister has inspired.   But where is she now?  In a different state.... So, I'ma have ta figure this one out.   Thanks for the support sis! I hope you read this!! :)

Taking the braids out.......

 

The boy braids are gone and it may look like I am smiling but that is not a smile.  It's an eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee , meaning "what the blankity blank have I gotten myself into?  What the blank am I going to do?"  I have no clue so I do what anyone would do - wash, condition and check it out, because heat is not an option........ REALLY?  IS THIS REALLY POSSIBLE?

 

 

 This is how I look after a good wash/condition/detangle/deep condition and just plain ole hoping.

I got nothing!  LOL!  I may have 1/2 inch curl pattern growing in.  I have the same straight - or damaged, as they say - mess that I had on Day 1.  I am not worried though.  I understand that patience is needed for the journey.   Impatience is really not an option for this journey, is it?   I feel so lost at this time.   Since I was 10, I have been doing my hair and I always knew what I was going to do with it.  I have had many different styles, textures, and products.   I have been creative, ordinary, just me and I've worn hats, scarves, braids, and a  wig twice.    But I have never not (excuse that double negative) used any form of heat.   At some point from the time I washed my hair until my hair was completely styled, some form of heat was used.  I am searching through the crevasses of my mind, trying to discover how to not use heat on this head of Day 24 hair.  I don't think that not using any heat it is possible.  So,  I resolve to use minimum heat and sit under my hair dryer on the low cool setting until hair is just dry.

 

I have long way to go!

 

Here is my 1/2 inch curl pattern....

 

Okay..so my hair is dried now and YES, I have a long way to go to get 6 inches of curls.   The temptation to use heat is VERY HIGH at this point.  I am telling you, so high and then I turn around to see this....

 

 

Stalker Husband.....

Seriously, Dude!   Would you quit watching me? I have to laugh at this point.  His face just says what I have been thinking "blankity blank".     So, I am thinking, whatever, I am blowing my hair and tomorrow I am going to have straight, soft, shiny and bouncy hair.   Why am I doing this and my sister won't even return my phone calls?     I went into the bathroom and 5 minutes later this is how I looked.......

 

Ms. Hatti Mattie

 

 I went to bed looking like Ms. Hatti Mattie from the peanut farm.  I am moving on to Day 25.   I can't tell you how I did it.  My sister has so inspired me that when hope is lost the residual effects of inspiration must be getting through!!!!!   I don't have a plan for tomorrow but we will see what happens tomorrow when it comes.....Only Hope and Inspiration know......

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WOW Kiki!!!  I'm loving the 1/2 inch of curls that I see...and poor HUBBY! He's just trying to figure out what's going on.....LOL!  Thanks for sharing your journey! Hang in there! What you are experiencing is common with women who decide to transition without doing the big chop.  I went through a VERY similar journey when I transitioned.  The interesting thing is that I had a chemical relaxer and Kiki's hair is just heat damaged and very much like a chemical relaxer.  This is a good example of permanent heat damage.  To get the curls back....you gotta grow them in.

Any words of encouragement for Kiki??

Please share!

Peace and blessings!

The Conversion: From Straight to Curly

The conversion from chemically treated relaxed hair to natural curls is a BIG DEAL for most women.  How the conversion or transition happens depends highly on your comfort level.  I didn't feel comfortable chopping off all my hair so I let my perm grow out, then cut it off.  During my conversion I wore braids and had my new growth straightened.  I finally cut off the perm when I had about 4-5 inches of new growth and I haven't turned back.  That was about 12 years ago!

Based on the survey results many of you guys did the same thing I did. 

• 11% - always had natural hair
• 22% - had a rough transition
• 67% - let the perm grow out first
• 11% - did the big chop (BC)
• 22% - did something else (other)

The conversion or transition is always a sensitive, life altering experience....why?  Because you are TOTALLY changing your overall look,  your hair styles (which could add time to your morning routine), and creating a totally new hair care regime (which can take time to establish).  Natural hair can be tricky and finding the right look can be overwhelming. It takes time and patience to land the right products and techniques to get the look you are satisfied with.  I saw a friend today who just did the big chop! She looked gorgeous to me...but still felt unsure about how to handle her new curls.  I will also mention, some men are not in favor of natural hair (especially the big chop)...so getting your man on board may be an issue as well. 

The following is a real life account of a beautiful woman named Taraja who has been converted and fully transitioned into a naturalista.  Enjoy!

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TARAJA'S STORY (in her own words):

All my life I was exposed to beating my hair into submission with a hot comb and then the creamy crack.  That's all I knew.  With my thick unruly hair I always turned to straightening my hair.  I struggled with combing through my extremely thick hair, so the only solution I saw was to chemically straighten my hair.

 

Relaxed days

WHAT CHANGED....

Knowledge is power.  That statement was what started my natural hair journey.  After realizing that I've been trying to manage my hair all wrong and that my hair could actually be combed through in no time, there was no turning back!  With the birth my first child, I also wanted to show her by example to love her natural curls, not naps.

 

Faux natural

Cut short

Transitioning

BC DAY...

First off it didn't start off as a full Big Chop.  I just wanted to cut off my relaxed hair.  So I took advantage of a trip to Maryland and made an appointment at a Natural Hair Salon!  My friend came with me and documented the entire process.  It was an exhilarating experience, I had no fear, just shear joy.  During the whole time I was either smiling or laughing.  Once my relaxed hair was cut, I could only see an afro puff. To make the styling process easier for myself I decided right then and there to just cut it all off!!! 

 

Hair before the big chop (BC)



Hair during the big chop (BC)

All off!!! I'm a new woman!

TODAY...

I feel like I'm seeing my hair for the first time.  The versatility, the richness, the possibilities are endless and it hasn't even been 1 full year after my BC!  Not only am I in love with loving my curls, but I'm exploring home made products...shea butter, raw black soap, essence oils, etc, are among my current arsenal.  Oh! I'm also teaching myself to flat twist.  All that I am learning on myself, will be applied to my precious daughter <3

First twists



Exploring natural styles

Great coiling method

Great example for daughter

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I'm sure Taraja's story has resonated with most of you like it has with me!  The conversion process is exciting and the new hair adventure you accept along with the process is EMPOWERING!  I think the choice Taraja made is indeed an excellent example for her daughter!  I'm looking forward to seeing her progress!

I want to give a HUGE thanks to Taraja for being so candid and sharing her hair journey with us!!!!!

What was your conversion/transition process like?

Peace and blessings!